GURUS — WHO WERE NEITHER MONKS NOR HERMITS
They appeared ordinary human beings like you and me. They never taught anything but lived their lives in such a way that others learnt. They were like touchstones who transformed and evolved all lives who were touched by them.
My Guru’s teachings:
1. Never escape from your responsibilities
They were both born in an average middle-class family where the ends would just meet. He was the eldest son with two younger sisters. His father died young. My guru was at that time hardly 14 years old. With the responsibilities of two younger sisters in a dowry-taking community, a widowed mother and meager resources to earn on his young shoulders, studying for him was a must. Those were the days when in India arranged marriages were a rule. Not once did he ask “why should all the burden come on me? Why should we find grooms who ask for dowries?” In those days, grooms without dowries in their community meant grooms who could be drunkards or had other vices like gambling or were unemployed. Basically they were good for nothing.
He aligned with doing his duty. He and his wife had to change their entire lives from that of a comfortable one to a life filled with severe hard-work and manual labor. Escaping from responsibilities was not an option.
2. Selfless service to the nation — come what may!
He was taken from his village to the city by his paternal uncle where he studied with complete diligence and sincerity. After school, while he just joined college, the clarion call of Mahatma Gandhi was sounded and he jumped into the freedom struggle like countless youths of the country. He left the university for the time being. When the police came to arrest him, his mother was disturbed. She pleaded with him to look at her, as he was her only son. The ever-dedicated patriot gave a curt reply “At present my other mother (The Motherland) needs me more. You can wait”. He was mercilessly beaten up by the police. He was physically tortured. But his determination never broke. He used to tell often: “Independence at any cost even if it means death”.
What left a very deep mark on me were the events that followed in later years. In 1972 the government of independent India decided to felicitate the freedom fighters. They were given a life-long pension and many other facilities by the government. Everyone told him to get enrolled. Even the leaders of his group with whom they fought for independence repeatedly met him requesting him to enroll his name in the list. But it was not to be. His stand was very clear: “I served my mother. There is no question of accepting any felicitation for serving my mother. I can’t accept it”. He remained a silent son who served his motherland even risking his life, but accepted absolutely nothing in return. A sterling patriotism of different genres. As said “God does not make such people anymore”
3. Simple living and High Thinking:
He was very brilliant. In search of a better future, he migrated to another city. He took a college degree at a time when school-end matriculation was considered enough. He got a very high-paid job in a textile mill. But his lifestyle remained as simple as ever. He wore a simple dhoti and a vest or a kurta. This remained his attire throughout his life. But he was not a miser. It could be seen from the acts of philanthropy that he undertook. He was offered a very good residential accommodation by his company. He politely refused and stayed in a one bedroom modest house in the by-lanes of the main city. He would commute on a bicycle. “I am not comfortable with luxury” was his standard reply.
In the second half of their lives hard work and honesty showed results. They were blessed with better financial conditions. But they did not change their simple lifestyle. A two bed-room house and petrol-fueled humble two-wheeler was the only luxury they owned. Their perception was very clear: “We would rather support the education of financially challenged children. What will these luxuries give us? Nothing! But if that boy/girl will get educated, the entire family will progress”. Their simplicity and nobility of action left a deep mark on my character.
4. Enemy no. 1 — Dowry
He married my second guru — the lady, his wife. She was also a well-educated lady. His sisters had now grown-up to marriageable age. All responsibilities were his. To meet the ensuing expenses of their marriage and a stiff dowry as well as settling the brothers-in-law, he left the job and started his own business of an eating house. This entailed huge manual labor. In spite of being a graduate, he started toiling so that his sisters could get happily settled.
His wife wholeheartedly supported him. She joined him to help in the business. Their eating house used to serve chapattis for lunch and fried puris (small rounded preparation from wheat dough — not roasted but fried) for dinner. Sitting before the sweltering heat of big furnaces she would apply ghee on the chapattis in the morning and herself fry puris in the evening. This meant chapattis for nearly 600 customers each for lunch and frying puris in the evening for dinner. Her husband would manage the customers in the main hall and she would look after the huge kitchen. All vegetables, curries etc. were tempered and spiced, by him giving these a perfect taste. He was the main chef. Theirs became the most famous and successful eating house in their city in those times. Understandably therefore in spite of dozens of workers, their choice of personally getting involved to maintain the topmost quality, entailed huge manual labor besides administrative and other work. All this to meet the incessant demands of their brothers-in-law and their greedy families.
It resulted in a severe detestation in their hearts for the custom of dowry. They ensured that no dowry is exchanged in any form, even indirectly, during the marriages of their children. Not only that, but they would also silently go and financially support helpless poor parents whose daughters used to face great difficulties due to this cruel custom.
5. Amazing forgiving and large-heartedness
Even after completely exploiting them off their resources — material and monetary, the brothers-in-law did not stop. At the marriage of their eldest daughter, one of the sisters and her husband did not invite this father-like only brother and his family. This was unimaginable humiliation. In most of the Hindu families, the mother’s brother is the most important person. Solemnizing a daughter’s marriage in his absence is absolutely inconceivable.
It did not stop at that. One of the brothers-in-law conspired to frame a completely spurious criminal case. He also manipulated his contacts in the media and gave huge publicity to this case defaming them. I saw the couple closely during this crisis. Never once did either of them get ruffled. They fought the case in the court of law valiantly and boldly. As was bound to happen truth prevailed. The court threw away the case and exonerated them of any wrong doing.
After such an unprecedented humiliation and mental torture, I had presumed that they will never see the face of their sisters and their husbands ever. But their real character came out in just a few years. The second of the daughters of the same sister was to get married. Without any sense of revenge or malice, they attended and executed all the rituals as if nothing had happened. My gurus not only attended but executed all their duties. Not once did they allow any strain on their face or in behavior.
This is what gurus do, monks do, hermits do. No revenge — only good of others.
6. Honesty and humanity to the core:
I imbibed from their behavior the two virtues of honesty and humaneness. As mentioned, they had an eating house. Quite a few families who could not afford even a humble living used to be supported by them. They would provide food and other supports from their eating house. These families were not beggars or lazy parasites of society. They were poor and struggling lower-middle-class families whose children were studying as the parents eked out a living through humble resources. They sent full meals to these families twice a day, lunch and dinner. Even their honesty was exemplary. I have countless experiences of their honesty. They safeguarded it in all circumstances, at all times.
7. Educate at all costs:
My gurus’ commitment to supporting education was amazing. At times even if they did not have enough money, they would somehow manage from their savings and support the education of deserving and needy students. Numerous university students from other towns and villages who would come for studies. Many of them would come to their eating house for meals. If amongst them, they would come to know that some particular student was ill-affording, they would immediately make their meals free. Not only stopping at that, they would also pay up their fees and later help them get established in the professions for which these students had studied. Interestingly some of the beneficiaries did come to repay once settled in life. But they would never accept anything in return. To them their message was clear, “We supported you. Now you support someone in a similar situation and we will get repaid”. Countless doctors, engineers, lawyers and successful entrepreneurs owe them today their present standing in the society.
They used to tell these students “In Indian culture, supporting someone’s education is the highest form of good deed one can do”
In the end:
The law of karma seemed to have worked very well in their case. All their hard work and virtues seemed to have acted. Both their children turned about to be as brilliant. They ensured the best possible education for them. The children became very successful and very well-known professionals. The older one migrated abroad but remained in touch with them till the end. The younger one lived in the country with them till they breathed their last.
As they walked into their sunset, they were looked after very well by their children, leaving them completely satisfied and rested. They were at total peace with the full happy family of children, children’s spouses, and grandchildren. Both of them passed away within a gap of a few years. Both left peacefully in sleep without any ailment or suffering, leaving thousands of known and unknown eyes, whose tears they had wiped, moist and weeping.
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